1. Clothes, clothes and more clothes. – You will NEVER have enough. Especially if you have a boy, they pee on everything.
2. Write it down – you will be so tired you will constantly be asking each other “when did the baby eat last”?
3. Buy more than one of everything. This is especially true with crib sheets, changing pad covers, and changing mats.
4. If a holiday is coming – take stock. If you say to yourself – “we should make it until tomorrow”, you won’t. Run out today and get what you need. You don’t want to find yourself out of formula on a holiday when no stores are open – trust me.
5. If your husband/wife does something different than you – this doesn’t mean it’s wrong, just different. You might discover something about your baby you didn’t know they liked.
6. You will start to hate your friends that get nurses, nannies or extra help. This is normal.
7. Buttons or snaps are a cruel joke at 4am in the morning. Nightgowns will be your best friend. You will also appreciate zippers like never before.
8. Don’t force the binkie – you will make your baby angry and that’s never good
9. Clear binkies are a pain. You will never find them when you need them
10. You will change your baby and think everything is good and then realize he/she just went to the bathroom again. Advice – don’t wait to change the diaper because you don’t feel like getting them undressed again. They will just squirm around until you change them. Just do it.
11. If you know your baby is going to the bathroom (#2) wait a few mins. In this case, don’t rush to change them. There’s nothing worse than a naked baby pooping all over the place while you have a wipey in one hand, and Desitin in the other. If this does happen shove anything you find under their butt. If you can’t – no worries – you will just have to change the pad again. See #3
12. Talk to friends – they won’t have the cure for all your baby’s problems but you will realize that you are not losing your mind and that everyone goes through this.
13. Diaper size is important. There’s nothing worse then putting an oversized diaper on your baby. Their clothes won’t fit right and the pee will leak everywhere.
14. Soothing a crying baby –the same thing won’t work all the time. Have some tricks up your sleeve like a swing, vibrating chair, or a swaddler. Never underestimate the old fashion ‘walk around’. Sometimes that works best.
15. The ‘Swaddler’ – it looks like a straight jacket and your baby will squirm around but sometimes it’s the only thing that works. If you don’t have one – LEARN to swaddle.
16. Ask for help – if you don’t, you will be in your pj’s all day and go days without showering.
17. White noise is a great noise.
18. If your baby is lying in their crib with their eyes open and they are quiet… consider yourself lucky
19. When your baby is hungry you will never get the bottle ready fast enough. Don’t feel bad.
20. When you are pregnant everyone will tell you that you’ll be tired once the baby comes. They’re right.
21. Nap nap nap
22. After you give birth your husband/partner will be VERY impressed with you – that wears off in about 2 weeks. You, on the other hand, will be very impressed with yourself for a while.
23. For the first time you will appreciate the sound of farts and burps.
24. For the first time getting someone’s (your baby’s) poop on you isn’t that big a deal.
25. If your pet has an accident in the house and you never cleaned up their throw up or poop, you will now. Bodily fluids don’t gross you out like they used to.
26. If you have a boy – an erection is the scariest thing in the world. As soon as you take off the diaper and notice it 3 things could happen – #1 they will instantly pee. Be ready! #2 You will think they are going to pee and they won’t. You may find yourself on stand by and NOTHING happens. #3 You successfully get the out of the diaper, wipe them down, powder them up and they pee everywhere. When their member stands at attention – you must also. It’s a gamble, anything can happen.
27. You will hate your partner at some point but get over it quickly. They will be your best friend through this process and you need each other.
28. Your baby will fart or burp and you will ask each other “was that you?” just to find that it was your tiny baby. I have to admit, sometimes it’s impressive.
29. You will sterilize bottles and nipples, than drop the binkie on the floor and shove it in your baby’s mouth anyway. This is bound to happen.
30. Enjoy every second, because you’ll wake up one day and your baby will be a month old, then two, three…. It goes too fast.
