Right now, I’m reading Chelsea Handlers book, My Horizontal Life. It’s hysterical and really got me thinking about my single life.
Remember those days of the first time encounters? Exciting! There’s nothing like ‘strange’. Sometimes it’s surprisingly awesome, sometimes you can’t get out of there fast enough! I can remember a time in college when I went home with a hot guy, just to make an old boyfriend jealous. My intention was to do a bit of kissing and maybe some heavy petting, but that was IT! Really, I just wanted to piss off my boyfriend that dumped me without me even knowing it. Long story somewhat short, I was still in college and my boyfriend lived states away at home (he had recently graduated). I realized the relationship was over when I saw him one night, at a bar, with another girl. WTF? I thought he was at home, 7 hours away. Ouch! So… I got pissed, grabbed the first hot ass I saw and left.
Needless to say, I regretted the decision as soon as I got to this guy’s apartment, kissed him and realized he was wearing velcro clothes. It’s the only explanation for how fast he was naked after that kiss. Who does that??? I had no choice but to fake pass out. UGH! Couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
As fun as those crazy times were, sexcapades are better now. True, they might be few and far between – don’t judge, I have 2 kids under 2 – but they’re pretty darn good.
I have a single friend that brags all the time about how great she is in bed. I hear about all the wild and crazy things she’s done. I kinda want to be like really? Try being with the same person for a decade, there is NOTHING you don’t do! So fine, she might be getting all the strange she wants and having crazy encounters but let me tell you, I have done everything she’s done, twice over and I know I’m better at it. Practice makes perfect.
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Tags: break-up, broken heart, jealousy, love, relationships, sex
